Nightmare Fuel 2016 Day 2: Rob Zombie’s 31 and Clown

We’re doubling things up from yesterday, ’cause you can’t get complacent.  That’s how they win.  And no one wants that.  Just as a warning:  Caulrophobics might not want to venture too deeply into this one…

So I prefer to see my theatrical movies for free, mostly because I can.  Thing is, the company that allows this to happen will likely never show 31, thanks to a very wrong-headed notion concerning VOD releases.  As such, I relied on the internet to see 31 without having to pay for it.  Seldom does the internet let me down.

The story is a simple one:  Five traveling carnies (or something akin thereto) are abducted by a wealthy trio and plopped down in an abandoned compound.  There, they are made to do battle against a cadre of killer clowns.  Yup.

Here’s the thing:  This may be a Rob Zombie movie, but it barely felt like one.  The opening monologue looked more akin to Tarantino, there’s very little of Zombie’s trademark schizoid editing, and the usual manic and crass dialogue is present but toned down a ways.  Only the presence of Zombie’s wife, Sheri Moon, gave the director away.

That said, it’s not bad.  I’ve had some mixed experiences with Zombie’s work.  House of 1,000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects were solid enough; the Halloween reboots/remakes had promise, but ultimately left me severely wanting (and, in the case of the second one, left me drained of hope for humanity for a period); The Haunted World of El Superbeasto fell very flat; and Lords of Salem mostly worked for me, even if it drove seemingly everyone else batty (listen to a few Radiodrome episodes to get a glimpse of the negativity surrounding that film).  Still, I respect the work of the erstwhile Mr. Cummings.

This offering does well with its premise, even leaving a good deal to our imaginations, but it never goes over that last hump, it never quite achieves the status of “great” or even “really good”.  It’s just “good”, “solid”.  The cast is hella solid, with the aforementioned Sheri Moon Zombie finally not annoying the hell out of me on-screen (I like the woman, but her characters have a tendency to just plain piss me off with their obnoxiousness), Meg Foster (of They Live and Lords of Salem fame) turns in a strong performance, Richard Brake (from Batman Begins and Zombie’s Halloween 2) shines with that monologue of his, and Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs (Freddie “Boom-Boom” Washington to all the Sweathog fans out there) made me think for a sec that Doug E. Doug’s character from Cool Runnings got strung out and joined a carnival.

It’s definitely worth a watch, especially if you enjoy films of its ilk, but it’s not exactly Rob’s magnum opus or anything.

Meanwhile, Clown is likely the best thing to have Eli Roth’s name attached to it.

No, Roth didn’t write or direct this one, he merely produced it.  Still, the advertising has made healthy use of his name in order to draw some notoriety toward the film.  And thank fucking Christ that man had no hand in this, ’cause it’s pretty well done.  It’s the story of a man who learns the clown set to perform at his son’s birthday party has cancelled, forcing him to find a replacement.  Luckily, he thinks, he finds an old clown outfit in a trunk in the house he’s fixing up for resale.  Party saved, he vainly tries to remove the costume, finding it quite impervious to damage and whatnot.  Turns out, the costume is actually the skin of a demon, one that is now transforming the man into an inhuman monster.  Think that episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, “The Clowning”, and you’ll get a basic gist.

This ain’t your usual modern horror flick, as it keeps the gore in short bursts, the terror/creepiness pervades, and everything goes at a leisurely pace, allowing for an actual buildup that the audience can give a shit about.  It’s not as out-and-out scary as The Babadook, nor anywhere near as philosophical, but it certainly gets the point across effectively, twisting the clown motif into something truly ghastly and off-putting.  Unlike every other film with Roth involved, I actually cared about the characters (save for the son, but I blame that on the kid’s acting more than his character) and was invested in their shared plight.  I genuinely wanted to see how things would turn out.

This was a pleasant surprise for me, as the marketing lead me to believe Roth was more involved than he was.  I would certainly recommend this for horror aficionados looking for something new and slightly different.