Incarnate

So I’m pretty sure I’ve gone on record here somewhere as saying that 2016 has been a pretty mediocre year in the cinemas, and I stand by that statement.  Be it terrible kids’ movies, pointless sequels, or big-budgeted flops, there does seem to be at least one common thread running through much of the failure: a demonstrated lack of creativity.  What we, as movie fans, wouldn’t give for something new, something interesting, something different, amiright?

Depends, I guess.  With Incarnate, we’re given something kinda unique: an exorcism flick that purposefully sets out to distance itself from any of that pesky church-based stuff.  So no “power of christ compels you” stuff, no heaven and hell references, no demons.  Instead, we’re treated to a more pseudo-scientific take on the subject of possession, morphing erstwhile demons into parasitic energy-based creatures visible via scans that show their energy fields (what more New Age-y folk might refer to as “auras”) and such.  Aaron Eckhart’s scientist/exorcist, a paraplegic due to an auto accident that claimed the lives of his wife and son (more on that momentarily), apparently realized a while back that he could enter the minds of the possessed.  He just realized it one day.  And he even phrases it that tritely, too!

He plies his trade, ridding people of their spectral parasites, with the aid of his two hipster/counterculture sidekicks, one of which is the European guy Dennis Reynolds once temporarily roomed with (I mean, c’mon, he’s European, which means he has kinky sex connections, dude!) and the other I had difficulty even looking up on IMDb, ’cause I don’t think her name is ever even mentioned on screen.  (Pretty cute, though…)  Eckhart is approached by the Vatican to exorcise a young boy (whose possession is shown to us via a fight with a previously possessed woman that ends with the kid snapping the woman’s neck and looking at the camera with clearly fakely reddened eyes in the most cheesily melodramatic manner possible), who might just be possessed by the same parasite that once killed his family in the aforementioned auto wreck.  Apparently this entity has a thing against Eckhart, though we’re never privy to what said thing is, no matter how many times we demand such information from the screen.

Yeah, the inly way to truly enjoy your Incarnate experience is to basically make fun of the damn thing.  I was lucky enough to be joined by everyone’s favorite psychic Miss Cleo (complete with a cookie from her old man (sweet!)), and we spent some time mocking a film whose actors were taking things way too seriously for the ridiculousness present.  Sure, the base idea is interesting, and Eckhart is giving something close to his all, but every other aspect of the execution is poor.  The script couldn’t be more trite and cliche-ridden, several characters are either completely pointless or just breathing Chekhov’s guns, and the plot makes little sense in either purpose or internal logic.  (For an example of the latter, we’re told time and again that nothing supernatural in the Christian sense is going on, yet the reverse “Alejandro” moment featured so centrally on the poster above, the rosary getting forcefully deep-throated, not only happens, but adversely affects the entity, meaning it’s weak against Christian iconography.  What was even the point of establishing this new mythos if it’s just gonna get ignored?)  I should not be able to so easily lampoon a film during my initial viewing, dammit!  Trust me, I’m not clever enough, but you wouldn’t know it given the timing and ease of some of my sarcastic remarks.  (Felt pretty good for me, though…)

Apparently, this thing was initially filmed late in 2013 and shelved ’til three years later.  Can’t imagine why!  Honestly, I wanted to like this thing after the first few minutes, ’cause it looked to be trying to be different and slightly creative, but things quickly went sideways, taking all respect and interest with it.  Laughs and entertainment are to be had with company and possibly some booze, but straight on this thing is a damn trite joke.  Skip it.