Nightmare Fuel 2017 Day 27 – Jeepers Creepers 3

Okay, so last year we talked about the first two (and, at that point, the only two) Jeepers Creepers films.  They were generally kinda crappy, but still had a sense of charm about them, mostly stemming from a palpable sense of humor.  Fourteen years after the last time the Creeper graced the big screen, we’ve got another appearance of the winged bastard.

Set between the first and second films, this one shows another period of hunting time for the Creeper, who’s targeted a farming community.  As it turns out, something important to the creature is buried in this community, and it wants to keep the authorities away from it, all the while hunting and evading a hit squad made up of local police.

It’s hard to view a film by a convicted pedophile with an open mind (yup, writer/director Victor Salva was convicted of five felony counts of sexual assault against a twelve-year-old boy, whom he videotaped in several sexual positions, served a year in prison), but even without that knowledge, this thing isn’t much to write home about.  It’s weaker than the other films, due in part to its lower budget and lack of quality actors.  Salva seems to have skimped on the script, as well, as few lines sound natural, and even fewer allow the actors do much with.  There’s an overload of crappy CGI, especially a bevvy of unnecessarily fake birds seen throughout, constantly reminding us that this is basically a SyFy Original (it’s playing tomorrow night on that channel, so feel free) that happened to get a limited theatrical release thanks to Fathom Events.  The Creeper’s murder van (or whatever the hell it is) is back, complete with funky new accoutrements, like bars that clamp down to grasp people who check in the back and a chained knife (CGI, natch) that expels from the tailpipe as though the truck thought it was Scorpion or something.  Worst of all, any of the fun that was present in the previous films (it wasn’t all that much, but it was still there, like a Stephen King joint) is gone here, replaced by misplaced seriousness and obnoxiousness.  It’s dull, unnecessary, and brings nothing to the table but more of what we already have.

If I haven’t made myself clear, I didn’t much care for this film.  I have, however, been more than surprised by the amount of fanboy love I’ve seen for it in the reviews online:  Apparently there is a sizeable vocal fanbase for this franchise that’s more than willing to accept lazy garbage so long as they get some kind of Jeepers Creepers film.  It’s almost amazing.  But mostly sad.  This is why we can’t have nice things in horror people, because the crazy fans just want their scraps and are willing to settle for anything.  Maybe Cabin in the Woods was right….