Hornet

In case you didn’t know, there’s a new Transformers movie coming out, this time without Michael Bay at the helm and with Bumblebee as the eponymous star of the show. I know, I didn’t ask for it, either (I mean, seriously, whose favorite Transformer is Bumblebee?), but I’ve heard decent/good things from those who care about the franchise – including some who care far too much than they should. Upon learning this, you may worry that The Asylum might not respond with their own mockbuster offering. I was worried, but only because I’ve seen Transmorphers and don’t ever want to see a repeat of that (I’ve already been disappointed due to the existence of the sequel, but that’s gotta be the end of it, dammit!). Well, worry not, kiddos, ‘cause our boiz have come through in the clutch again, releasing Hornet just in time to coincide with Bumblebee’s release. Thank the Cybertronian gods. I know nothing about Transformers lore anymore.

The plot of this thing is set into motion by a trio of college students who manage to develop and build a fully-functioning robot – one that’s capable of sustained flight, no less – that’s meant to be used as an aid in emergency and disaster situations. Not only is their test cut short by the authorities, but there’s also a friggin’ alien invasion apparently underway. Guess who’s gonna haveta step up to the challenge? Yup, good ol’ Hornet. Hoorah.

I was tickled immediately by Hornet’s clunky and uninspired design coupled with the shoddy, PS2 graphics-style of VFX used to animate him. Somehow, this thing is, give or take, seven or eight feet tall, yet can apparently fold himself (for lack of a better word) small enough to fit inside a foot locker-sized trunk. Convenient! His height is also pretty inconsistent, with some shots showing him clearly towering over the students and looking down at them (when we’re in his POV) and others showing him looking them in the eyes at their level. His speed is a bit off, as he’s shown bolting off in a cloud of dust like a goddamn Warner Bros. cartoon, yet we’re told he’s only going 50mph, and the students are able to catch up to him rather quickly after giving him a more-than-healthy head start. This is one sloppy robot, lemme tell ya.

But things don’t get much better outside of our metal hero. The filmmakers decided for some reason to make the film a found footage flick, with the various scenes cut and spliced together into what looks to be a CIA dossier of sorts. Well, mostly. See, they go to great pains, as is the fashion, to establish the various cameras so that the angles are accounted for, but there are a few scenes where we get camera angles completely separate from anything already shown: they’re not from the perspective of the head mounts, the body mounts, Hornet’s eyes, the drone (of course they have a drone), nor from any circumstantial camera, they’re just from some disembodied spirit or something, I dunno. Plus, the various scenes are intercut, like with an early interrogation sequence continually being spliced with the main action, a rather cinematic choice for the digital paper pusher who put this thing together for his CIA supervisor. I see no reason whatsoever for this thing to be found footage, as it adds nothing to the story and doesn’t enhance the telling in any way.

Otherwise, the direction (from the same folks who brought us such Asylum classics as Airplane Vs Volcano and produced our beloved Snake Outta Compton) is flat, the effects work is lackluster, the acting is on the better side for an Asylum release, and the story is derivative as all hell. So, yeah, it’s an Asylum mockbuster, the boxes have bene checked. It doesn’t try to elevate itself any further than that, so neither shall we. Feel free to skip unless you wanna have some fun at its expense.